Monday, March 3, 2014
I often find myself going through my day focused on all that I need to get done, bustling around and when I finally fall into bed at night I think back on my day and realise I was entirely consumed with myself or others all day long and very unfocused on God. And to think I'm at bible school. Sometimes I feel inadequate of my place at Bible School, until I realised and remembered that I am not perfect. I will always be held back by human nature and it takes a long time to get rid of old, bad habits. That is no excuse for not praying during my day, but it was something that I needed to recall when I started getting down on myself because of that reason. Before I really started developing my relationship with God, I did not take much care for how often we talked throughout the day, but the desire for that continuous conversation was one of the main reasons I chose to come to Bible School. What a difficult yet rewarding goal to try to achieve! I often still find myself getting to the end of a day with a lack of prayer, but it isn't a one day switch. I'll be working on this through to the end of Bible School, and for every day after for the rest of my life. But the reward comes in those God moments you get to experience while trying to accomplish the goal. I have had the extreme joy of experiencing God in a very real way on one of my walks. I was talking to God while on a walk alone, and I turned next to me as if I was talking to a real person because I had forgotten that God wasn't visually present. I felt him there and turned to talk to Him like he was there and it was amazing to experience that very real presence. Even in the smaller circumstances like talking to a friend that you can see God in, or seeing someone doing a kindness for someone when they are hurting. One of the greatest things about Bible School is experience God in such a real way. It is something that I intend to take back with me and pass along. It's a real gift to be able to see God in the little things.